Crushed
During our trip to Indiana I received the most horrific news of my life. What started out as a fun trip turned into a road trip to Missouri to bury my baby sister. I’d rather not discuss the details, but due to a hard life full of disappointments, divorce, wrong choices and drugs my sister ended up on life support. When I got to the hospital I wasn’t prepared to see her lifeless body hooked up to the machines that were breathing for her. I just wanted her to sit up and grab me in a hug like she used to and tell me about her kids. I wanted to talk about the old days when we would get into trouble. We watched out for each other. We were partners in crime. Sadly we drifted apart as adults. I moved away and she began her downward spiral into darkness. I’ve cried myself sick this past week, beating myself up for not being a better big sister to her. For not grabbing her and protecting her like I used to. Although the memorial service was beautiful it was not the way I wanted to see her. If I had known the last time I hugged her was going to be the last…I would have hugged her longer. The only comfort I have now is in knowing that she can finally rest. No more drugs. No more pain. No more desperation.
R.I.P Squeaker!!!!! You were so beautiful and so loved!!!!!!!!
